so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
