so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
