I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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