My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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