Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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