does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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