11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
