I puked a lego.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It's blow job season.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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