Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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