brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
