This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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