Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
