I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
