maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize