Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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