Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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