Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
