What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
