I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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