He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Randomize
