I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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