party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
