not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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