You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
