dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
