apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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