in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
