just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
