dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
