Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
