i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
this boner is exhausting
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
When did angry sex become our thing?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
