This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
