I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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