I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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