ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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