everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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