Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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