We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Randomize
