Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
