I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
