she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
