He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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