this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
