I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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