So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
