More tranny stories later!
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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