You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
