I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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