the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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