That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
