i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
