you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
