There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
