Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
