woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
i think im in europe. pls send help
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize