maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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