I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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