My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
