Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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