I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Randomize