i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
