Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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