were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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